I am quitting golf coaching for good.

I can’t take it anymore. I do my best, but sometimes I just miss the mark.

This kind of feedback has rocked me to my core and I can’t put up with this kind of feedback any longer:

I hope you’re enjoying your day, because I’m *trying* to enjoy mine after reading your *silly* book. I’m not thrilled, to say the least. Sure, I’ve only read it once and haven’t exactly “put in my time” with all the drills, but I’m already seeing a difference, and frankly, I’m not happy about it.

You see, I used to treasure my time communing with nature— greeting the squirrels, bugs, birds, and occasionally a snake as I hunted for my wayward tee shots. That was my peaceful time to chat with Jesus about why my golf game needed divine intervention.

But now, after just three rounds, I’ve only had two nature walks. TWO! Instead, I’ve found myself in this unfamiliar territory called “the middle of the fairway.”

And this other odd concept called “greens in regulation“—what even is that? It’s giving me a headache just keeping up with these things.

And don’t get me started on the humor — or lack thereof. I used to be the comic relief of the group, what with all the laughter from my playing partners. But now? All I hear is, “nice shot.” One guy even suggested I might have been abducted by aliens or possessed by some golf-loving spirit.

Oh, and another issue — you’ve ruined my opportunity to show off my mathematical genius. Gone are the days of tallying up big, impressive numbers. Now I’m stuck adding up boring 4s, 5s, and the occasional 6. Where’s the fun in that?

Lastly, and this is a big one—what am I supposed to do with all this money I’m winning from my golf buddies? I might have to start worrying about a new tax bracket! Maybe I’ll open a Swiss bank account to hide my winnings from the IRS.

So, thanks a lot. You’ve taken all the chaos and charm out of my golf game—and replaced it with competence. What fun is that?

I would just like to apologise to this guy publicly for ruining his game and taking all the fun out of it.

I’m so sorry.

If you’re worried about the same thing happening to your golf game then please don’t read this.

Or this.

And definitely don’t go anywhere near this.

I hope you have a great day. I am now looking for another job. What else can I do?

Regards, Cameron