This has been a difficult golf lesson to write.
I have stopped and started this many times and have thought about giving up on it. It would have been way easier to write about the golf swing, putting, chipping or some other aspect of the mental game.
But I feel that the below really needs to be said and I know it can help. Some definitely won’t like to hear the message (I didn’t) …
… and it has certainly brought up some unwanted memories from my golfing past.
What am I talking about here?
I’m going to refer to this as the Blame Game.
Here’s the story.
When I was way younger I certainly had a passion for the game. And I was somewhat talented enough to whack the ball around the course.
But I was hopeless. I was inconsistent. And I rarely, if ever, played that well when it counted.
And I was an expert at making excuses.
“The course didn’t suit me”
“The weather was no good”
“My finger was sore”
“I’m working on my swing”
“My coach has broken my swing”
There was one time that I got myself into a great position to win, and I stuffed up. And badly. I completely choked and made an idiot of myself.
And instead of learning from my mistakes, I blamed everyone or everything else.
And I never realised that I did this. It all happened subconsciously and it’s certainly not a proud moment to reflect on.
I see the same, victim mentality, in my golf business everyday.
Someone forgets their password or can’t find where they saved the book on their computer…
… they fly off the deepend and like to blame (instead of taking a moment to figure things out, it’s easier for them to shoot off a nasty email).
Some buy the book on a Monday, play on Tuesday, don’t play that well, then send me an email on Wednesday saying,
“This doesn’t work! You have ruined my game”
Blame game.
A few guys hound me on social media wanting me to give them a personal deep dive into a $27 dollar eBook. When I ask them to take a few minutes to read all the information I have put together they can’t be bothered and get triggered…
“You’re a scam artist”
“You need to guarantee this product”
“You are not a good teacher”
“I will tell everyone you’re no good!”
These golfers have so little resilience that they can’t even make a decision and instead, rely on blaming others to make themselves feel better.
It’s all a bit sad really and this behaviour definitely reminds me of my old self.
And, I’m sure these types of golfers don’t really play that well and are dissatisfied with their play too.
I’ve been so lucky to have learned from some of the best coaches in the world.
When it came to learning to play peak performance golf, it really had nothing to do with the golf.
It was all about my attitude.
One of my mentors has always said this,
“Let the student do the work”
It’s profound coaching because the golfer has to do the problem solving.
And when you take control of your game, emotions and feelings (and not blame others) you are driving the bus.
Then, and only then, are you able to go exactly where you want.
You’re less of a victim and more of a leader. You build resilience and a bullet-proof attitude.
From here, anything is possible.
At the low point of my golfing development my mentor fully paid out on me and told me to stop blaming everyone else and to man up.
I hated him at first and wanted to fire back. He hurt my feelings because I knew deep down he was right.
This ended up in me sharing this story that has enabled me to unlock the very best version of my game and find true satisfaction.
It’s still one of the best lessons I ever received.
Good golfing,
Cameron “no blame” Strachan